I’m sure you hear it all the time ‘just stop and connect back to yourself’. This can be easier said than done. If this is a concept you have never heard of before or experienced, this can be a very foreign and overwhelming concept. But what does it really mean?
Let’s discuss this as if you have 3 layers.
The outer you, the layer that is shown to the world. Just like the cover of a book it is what everybody sees. You operate in automatic mode in this layer, you are not thinking just doing. In this layer your operating system, just like a computer, is in control. On one level this is what you chose for others to see. Facade or real you?
The second layer is the thinking and feeling layer. This is where you act and react to the world around you. Your human programs run ripe in this layer and the ego comes and goes depending on your level of awareness. This layer has many smaller layers within it. Each human program having its own layer and operating parameters. With awareness these are the layers that can have the greatest effect on changing your life moving forward or keeping you stuck.
The innermost layer, the real you that not many people see, and most of the time you don’t even see or connect with yourself. This is because you’re stuck in your human program layers. These are the layers that holds your innermost dreams, your passion and your purpose. Peace and harmony live here, love, compassion and serenity flow constantly. This is the layer I call the ‘Essence of you.’
Connecting to self means coming into the innermost layer, but this is hard when the second layer is so thick and running the show. As you begin to become aware of the programs running in the second layer and make the choice that they no longer serve you, they begin to dissolve. How you see the world begins to change. This process is called waking up. The more you work on and clear these old programs the closer you get to entering the innermost layer, the real you.
If this is a new concept then you need to start slow. Observing your thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions to situations is the key. This will first begin in hindsight, looking at whats occurred after the fact. As you get more familiar with it you will get closer to the events ending, then during, then before the situation. All of these points give you a choice. A choice to continue with the same old program and behaviour or to change direction. Journaling the occurrences, thoughts and feelings will help you observe and break down your behaviour and whether it served you or not.
Another essential skill to learn is meditation. Many people try this once or twice and get frustrated that it’s not working and give up. Like any skill you have to train the body and mind to relax and tune out. You are not going to be a meditation guru on your first go or even your hundredth. Start with focusing on your breath, it’s simple, it’s easy and it’s free. If you need some forced distraction within a meditation then follow a guided meditation. To help you get out of your head try repeating a mantra, make up something simple like ‘I am perfect peace’. Remember it takes time and practice to build up the new neural pathways.
One of the most simplest way to connect to yourself is to focus on and do the things that bring you joy. If your life is void of joy a dark cloud can quickly descend, robbing you of love and light.
What brings you joy? It can be big or small and I find the simpler it is the easier it is to connect to it. It could be watching the clouds float by or the sun’s rays on your face. Playing with your children, cooking a meal for a loved one. Playing or watching your favourite sport, connecting with nature, and watching a funny movie. The list truely is endless.
Connecting with yourself is connecting with your heart space. Understanding what makes you tick and living in a place of love and happiness. If love and joy are missing from your life then it’s time to take steps to invite it back in. It all starts with you.
The first step is to acknowledge what’s missing or what needs changing, don’t judge it, it is what it is.
Second, write a list of all things that bring you joy and value add to your life and then do one of those things everyday.
And third, be kind to yourself, we are our own hardest critics. You cannot change the past but you can learn from it. Take one step forward today. You can do it, the universe and I have got your back.
